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Negotiation And Betrayal – An Important Soft And Cognitive Skill

Negotiation Is One Of The Oldest And Most Widely Used Cognitive Skills. Thousands Of Books, Articles, Lectures, Videos, Etc. Have Been Presented In Different Languages ​​For Negotiation, Its Definition, Its Principles And Foundations, Its Types And Methods In The World And In Iran.

Due to the importance of management and marketing disciplines in today’s world, various centers offer negotiation courses in courses such as MBA or DBA. University management schools also address this skill in different ways.

Summer noon was one of the hot days of July 1993. With great difficulty in that heat, I got myself to the place. The meeting was to review a relatively large print advertising project and, if agreed, to arrange a contract.

We have already sent them our price quotes and portfolios. When I entered the meeting room, three people were waiting around a large table.

After the initial greetings and upheavals, one of whom I thought was the senior of the other two, without any introduction, put an exquisite foreign catalog in front of me and asked if you could print something like this. It was a bit unusual.

The meeting usually begins with a description of the importance of the work and the company or project and is followed by a portfolio review.

All three were waiting for my answer.

I checked the catalog a bit and said no. I saw surprise in the eyes of all three. They looked at each other and smiled. The senior said why. Depending on the type of printing machines and especially the type of inks that our printing houses use, you should expect something between a five and ten percent quality reduction.

“You guarantee it will not be more than ten percent,” I said yes; we’re even trying not to drop that amount, but I have to tell you that. All three glanced together with a smile. The man packed his things as if he wanted to leave the meeting.

“Three more people came before you,” he said in front of my surprised look. The price of both of them was lower than yours. But all three of them said that we would deliver the work to you without losing quality.

“We had researched, and we knew that the work would not be without quality loss …”

The man said goodbye to me and left. The rest of the meeting was about writing a contract. I said yes, we’re even trying not to drop that amount, but I have to tell you that. All three glanced together with a smile.

The man packed his things as if he wanted to leave the meeting. “Three more people came before you,” he said in front of my surprised look. The price of both of them was lower than yours. But all three of them said that we would deliver the work to you without losing quality.

“We had researched, and we knew that the work would not be without quality loss …”

The man said goodbye to me and left. The rest of the meeting was about writing a contract. I said yes, we’re even trying not to drop that amount, but I have to tell you that. All three glanced together with a smile.

The man packed his things as if he wanted to leave the meeting. “Three more people came before you,” he said in front of my surprised look.

The price of both of them was lower than yours. But all three of them said that we would deliver the work to you without losing quality. “We had researched, and we knew that the work would not be without quality loss …” The man said goodbye to me and left.

The rest of the meeting was about writing a contract. But all three of them said that we would deliver the work to you without losing quality.

“We had researched, and we knew that the work would not be without quality loss …”

The man said goodbye to me and left. The rest of the meeting was about writing a contract.

But all three of them said that we would deliver the work to you without losing quality. “We had researched, and we knew that the work would not be without quality loss …” The man said goodbye to me and left. The rest of the meeting was about writing a contract. Negotiation …

Negotiation is one of the oldest and most widely used cognitive skills. Thousands of books, articles, lectures, videos, etc., have been presented in different languages ​​for negotiation, its definition, its principles and foundations, its types and methods in the world and Iran.

At the same time, individual skills development sites and centers offer a variety of negotiation-related courses.

Due to the importance of management and marketing disciplines in today’s world, various centers offer negotiation courses in courses such as MBA or DBA. University management schools also address this skill in different ways.

My purpose in this article, and probably one or two other parts of it, will not be to deal with all aspects of negotiation skills in a classical way (types of negotiation, negotiation objectives, negotiation process, and negotiation techniques, etc.), because these discussions are repeated over and over again.

It is better and more widely available in textbooks and online and offline courses, and an internet search can reach many. My goal is to draw attention to the importance of negotiation as one of the most important cognitive skills in today’s world. I will probably mention a few points that are not mentioned in classical sources or regular courses.

It would be best if you had a plan or roadmap to start learning negotiation skills.

This roadmap should be able to answer the following questions:

  •   What is your goal in learning negotiation skills? In what cases do you need to negotiate, and what problem does learning solution for you?
  •  At what level do you want to learn negotiation techniques? Do you want to become a professional, business, or international negotiator, or do you want to better connect with others in your daily life and make life easier for yourself and possibly them? Choosing each level of this skill has completely different requirements and outcomes.
  •  How do you want to achieve this skill? Do you want to apply through one or more training courses or self-study?
  •  How much time do you want to spend on this? It is true that such teachings have no endpoints and can be continued for the rest of your life, but the general principles and principles can determine by determining the method of learning.

Negotiation occurs only if the parties are willing to go beyond one part of their demands, provided that they achieve the other important part.

Cleverness, playfulness, selling the refrigerator to the Eskimos and the heater to the Bedouins, and the like, have no place among the original and modern negotiators.

Today, the negotiator knows that he can guarantee his own interests only by guaranteeing the other party’s interests.

Today, the negotiator will not catch up in his own dry or logical arguments, and he will not be surprised why the other side does not accept them because he knows that there are many reasons and factors involved in an agreement. The rationality of the proposal alone will never suffice.

Today, a professional negotiator knows that he can only secure his own interests by accepting and considering the other party’s interests.

Definition of Negotiation

Like the other soft skills I have dealt with so far, I will not attempt to provide an academic definition of negotiation here. Rather, I will try to provide an operational definition to understand the category of technical students.

  • Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more parties over one or more issues of conflict of interest. The parties are trying to achieve a significant part of their demands through dialogue and concessions. Therefore, the willingness to give concessions in exchange for concessions, the voluntary nature of the dialogue, is one of the basic pillars of any negotiation.

Negotiation and soft skills …

Negotiation is a crossroads in which soft and cognitive skills often come together.

In a way, we are all negotiating every day, and for good negotiation, we need a lot of soft skills:
  • Emotional intelligence is one of the most important soft skills we need to negotiate. We need to know our emotions before, during, and after the negotiation and manage them as much as possible so that they do not drag us wherever they want. At the same time, we need to be able to take into account the feelings of the negotiator and to be able to understand what is going on in his mind, especially in his speech and especially in his body language. One of the most important things about negotiation is putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes and seeing how they view the story and what is important to them. In fact, we can find the mental model of the negotiating party. What are our opponent’s values, beliefs, and attitudes, and the similarities or differences with our mental model? In this case, if an offer is made, you can see if it is attractive to him or not.
  • Cognitive flexibility is another skill that should be in a negotiator’s cognitive skills toolbox. In many important negotiations, the situation changes abruptly. The negotiation environment changes rapidly because of outside news or an offer from the other party or yourself. A skilled negotiator must quickly change their intellectual space and adapt to the new space of negotiation. Otherwise, he will not understand what is going on in the negotiation session and will not communicate with the negotiating party.
  • Problem-solving skills are another ability of a negotiator who can manage the issues before or during the negotiation and resolve them.
  • Critical thinking skills help the negotiator, by mastering the principles and foundations of thinking and logic, to understand and essay the sophistry and fallacies that sometimes appear in the arguments of one or the other party.
  • Active listening skills are among the skills discussed in the discussion of emotional intelligence and distract us from our preoccupations during the negotiation. We can pay attention to the utterances and body language of the speaker carefully and with full focus. Only then can we hope that we propose a win-win solution that considers both parties’ interests.
  • Creativity is one of the soft skills that any negotiator can use to break the negotiation barriers and suggest new and alternative solutions.
  • Judgment and decision-making skills are the basis of negotiation. Being able to clearly see your own and others’ interests, judge without bias, and make the right decision at the right time is a vital skill for a negotiator.
  • Effective communication is another skill associated with active listening and emotional intelligence and is one of the skills through which the negotiator manages the negotiation space.
  • A professional negotiator needs other skills, such as verbal mastery and articulation, conflict management, familiarity with the principles of personality recognition, and so on.

Betrayal of negotiation …

If I want to share with you the results of more than thirty years of work, years of study in psychology and sociology, and my studies in cognitive skills, including negotiation, you have to be yourself at all times.

You do not have to play a role in the negotiation; You do not have to pay someone else, And You do not have to constantly remind yourself that you are a professional negotiator by making gestures or saying things to the negotiator; Just be yourself and continue to be yourself, try to see the other side as well.

This will not be possible to see the other side unless you pay attention to him with all your mental powers.

According to him and in his body language. Any false attention and artificial presence immediately detected by the other party, leading to a crisis in the negotiation.

Interestingly, according to research, the human mind can recognize and perceive another state in a fraction of a second, seventeen seconds.

Of course, this diagnosis is made below the threshold of consciousness (Subconscious). There is no place for absence or delay in presence in such a situation, and the other party immediately understands this delay. They block the way of any constructive interaction, and this means betrayal of negotiation.

It means to bring the negotiation to a standstill with our own hands.

But the good news is that attendance is a skill to learn. Children know the secret of this presence. That is why they look at everything with curiosity.

But as they grow older, they lose the ability to learn to think elsewhere while looking at you. So, by focusing on what we are doing, we can do it in the best way possible and give the other person the message that we are honestly paying attention to them and their profession.

This can pave the way for any negotiation.

If you want to come out proud in business or personal negotiations and achieve your goals, take the time to learn mindfulness techniques. You will find that this way of life will create a qualitative change in negotiation and all aspects of your life.

In the next issue, I will explore other aspects of the negotiation debate.