Sexual anxiety can affect men and women of all ages, no matter how experienced. The experience of this anxiety is temporary for some; For example, for those who are going to have their first sexual intercourse.
But on the other hand, there are those who have struggled with this problem all their lives. The purpose of this article is to help such people overcome their sexual anxiety.
To overcome sexual anxiety, you first need to know its causes and symptoms and know it better. We begin the article by describing these symptoms and causes. In the final section, we will talk about practical tips and strategies to overcome sexual anxiety.
How does sexual anxiety manifest itself?
The experience of sexual humiliation caused Steph Auteri, a 37-year-old woman, to experience sexual anxiety for some time. In an interview with a specialist, he described his symptoms and experiences of anxiety with the following sentences:
The thought of disappointing my partner really made me anxious. I no longer felt a deep desire to be intimate, to have sex. I just wanted everything to end soon. Then I was fragile. Most of all, I felt guilty about my weird thoughts about sex. I felt that I was not worth committing to. Feelings of guilt made me sick and angry. All of this made my desire for sex less and less. It was a vicious cycle.
Sexual anxiety or sexual dysfunction is not a disease or disorder, as the 37-year-old’s experience reads; Rather, the term is mostly used to refer to fear of sex , anxiety and related anxiety.
Sexual anxiety manifests itself in different forms and not everyone experiences the same. Severe loss of libido, difficulty reaching orgasm and sexual arousal, as well as body aches during sexual intercourse are common symptoms in women suffering from this anxiety. Problems with ejaculation and erection are also symptoms of men.
What does sexual anxiety do to a person?
Sexual dysfunction deprives a person of the mental readiness necessary to have healthy sexual intercourse . In fact, such a person is constantly worried about what it will look like during sex, whether it will meet the other party’s expectations well, and a series of other worries and anxieties. And all the pleasure and passion that is in the nature of sex will bother him.
Unfortunately, sometimes sexual anxiety gets worse and creates a cycle of suffering for the person who suffers from it. Anxiety about having sex may be so great that it can actually lead to an inability to have sex. This inability exacerbates sexual function anxiety, and the two exacerbate each other.
Perhaps the best way to overcome sexual anxiety is to think of it as a “symptom,” not a “disease” or “disorder.” In fact, a sign that has another cause and cause. Knowing the root cause or causes of this anxiety and finding a solution to it may be a way to get rid of sexual anxiety and anxiety related to sex.
What causes sexual anxiety?
We come to the important question of why some people suffer from sexual anxiety. Sometimes it is difficult to trace the cause of this problem; But sometimes there are simple reasons for this: feelings of worry and doubt about what they look like when they have sex, whether they can meet the other party’s expectations well, and so on. Sometimes the cause of sexual anxiety is the threat and anxiety that accompanies the first experience of sex; But the causes of sexual stress are not limited to these cases.
Violence and sexual abuse are other causes of sexual anxiety
For some people, it is an unpleasant and distressing experience in the past that is the main cause of sexual dysfunction; An experience that may have the color of sexual violence or sexual abuse. The best way to overcome sexual anxiety for these people is to talk to a specialist about their experience and ask for help.
But experts say that in most cases, the main cause of experiencing sexual anxiety is something else. In fact, the cause goes back to the customs and traditions that shape our way of thinking about different aspects of sex and about our bodies. As well as social expectations that affect our relationship with our sexuality.
Some diseases and taking some medicines
Taking certain types of medications, such as antidepressants , may be another cause of decreased libido and other related problems. Chronic pain and hormonal changes (such as hormonal changes after pregnancy or menopause ) are other possible causes.
Other Common Causes of Sexual Function Anxiety
Sex is not just a physical reaction; Emotions and feelings are just as involved in the body. When the mental pressure is too high, the possibility of focusing on sex is removed and the body is not stimulated as a result. Pressure on the mind or soul is another common cause of sexual anxiety.
There are various concerns that give rise to this pressure. Here are some of them:
- Lack of a positive mindset of body image, which includes concern about weight and other physical characteristics;
- Fear of not being able to satisfy the other party during sexual intercourse;
- Anxiety about thinking about not being able to enjoy sex;
- Relationship problems between couples;
- Concerns about disorders such as premature ejaculation during sexual intercourse.
What is the way to overcome sexual anxiety?
There are tips and tricks that can be used to overcome these moments of anxiety and hesitation that are experienced before and during sexual intercourse. Implementing these strategies, along with the science that comes from recognizing the signs and causes of sexual anxiety, helps make sex healthier and happier.
1. Talking about what embarrasses you
This embarrassment may be due to physical issues, or due to the experience of having a sexual dysfunction, or it may be rooted in a particular way of thinking; For example, since childhood, someone has been told that his or her gender is wrong and has problems, and with this way of thinking, they have borne him.
Whatever the cause of this embarrassment , it has something to do with sex. In fact, it is common and many people are ashamed of having sex. The problem is that few people are willing to talk to their partner about embarrassment. Some of us even deny the existence of such a feeling. So what is the solution?
You need to find the exact cause of the embarrassment and talk to the other person about it. This is the best way to overcome sexual anxiety caused by embarrassment. It is enough to discuss the issue with the other party. When you see that after talking about it, he will continue to welcome you and his interest in you will not diminish, you will feel more confident and your fears and worries will decrease.
2. Having a better mindset than your body image
The image we have of our bodies in mind, in fact what others see of our appearance, sometimes plays a role in sexual worries and anxieties. The thought of not appearing to the other party can sometimes be annoying to some.
Not having a good mindset about body image is a common problem. Numerous studies have shown that many people, because of this lack of mentality, can not enjoy sex and have healthy sex. Here again, there are false and unrealistic beliefs: shortcomings that we have in mind, but do not see in the eyes of others.
For example, one expert recommends this strategy to love your body more: to stand in front of a mirror for a while every day and write down the positive points of your body and physique. This expert believes that “repetition” is the key to the effectiveness of this solution. Repetition means doing this every day for a certain amount of time.
3. Acquire sufficient knowledge and scientific information about sexual issues
Too often, people become sexually anxious because of superstitions and other such thoughts, as well as not having enough knowledge about sexual issues; For example, they may not have learned that people have different and unique reactions and needs in sex. There are those who think that their desires, wants and needs in sex are not normal. This is another consequence of being unaware of the facts about sex.
If you feel you have a problem because of this, you can use the following strategies to overcome it:
- Talk to a specialist and get enough information through him;
- Obtain the necessary information by reading a book or article;
- Membership in training workshops.
4. Get help from a specialist therapist
Sometimes the solution is to use the help of a specialist therapist . With the help of such a person, it will probably be easier to find the root cause of sexual anxiety and find a way to overcome it. In addition, if sexual dysfunction has caused anxiety and worry, the specialist therapist will introduce techniques and strategies to control or treat it.
Experience living with sexual anxiety
The 37-year-old woman you described at the beginning of her article and her experiences has struggled with sexual anxiety and its problems for more than 15 years. One day he accidentally found a job in a newspaper and began writing columns about sexually explicit information. This information helped him to realize over time that his anxiety was not as abnormal as he thought. When he shared his experiences with others, he realized that many had similar experiences.
Knowing that he is not alone and using some other strategies helped him finally overcome his problem. One of these strategies, as he says, was to practice yoga regularly . Using these exercises, he was able to strengthen his mindfulness , which also helped him to have sex.
But 37-year-old Steph Otter, more importantly, seems to have learned a more fundamental lesson from this 15-year experience. That he no longer blames himself for the flaws and shortcomings he imagines, and that what he feels is in any case a source of pride and satisfaction for him; Even when she does not feel the urge to have sex. This is probably the most important step in overcoming sexual anxiety.
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